"Once I graduated high school there was only one thing I wanted to do, join the United States Waterboarding team. It was a lifelong dream of mine, to follow in my fellow patriots' footsteps. I rigorously trained with dogs, cats, neighborhood kids, bullies, teachers, my parents and I can proudly say with great success and without casualty. This has lead me to today... As I stand before my gam gam's house, in a wetsuit I might add, all I can think about is, what the fuck did she get me for my birthday?"
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- Premium 4.3 oz.
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